In my opinion, I agree that true love is sacred and should not be polluted by the "transactional" element. However true love with zero dollars is impossible to sustain a relationship especially in the practical society of Singapore. My way of sustaining a long-lasting relationship is that one must at least have the means to provide your partner with a good, comfortable life. If a man can't even provide his other half a good, comfortable life then he is just a irresponsible man and a failure in life. Imagine your life-long partner struggling earn money, this thought really disgusts me. Thus true-love but no money, there is no relationship but just suffering. Look at those couples who are so poor that they do not have the means to lead a normal, peaceful life, worrying about when is their next meal, if you call that a successful relationship then I am quite sure that no one would want to engage in relationships anymore.
I think it is normal to have a certain amount of "transactional" element as it is reasonable for you other half to know that do you have the means and abilities to support her and give her a good life, if she was to engage in a relationship with you. In a successful and long-lasting relationship, the "transactional" element and true love each of them weighs 50%. Losing either will lead to a failure.
I think that there is indeed an upward trend of relationships and marriages valuing money over other qualities One should value money in a relationship but not too much that it pollutes true love. However nowadays , women sometimes value money so much that they are willing to sacrifice their true love which led to many outrageous examples in our real-life society. For example prominent Chinese Scientist Yang Zhen Ning married a 28 year old lady at the age of 82. I began pondering on the fact that whether the lady really loved this guy which 3 and a half times the age of her. Is it because of money and fame which ultimately led her to this decision or maybe age wasn't really a problem. But to me, I find it hard and outrageous to accept this kind of relationships.
When you say "One should value money in a relationship but not too much that it pollutes true love", I certainly do agree with you. Considering the fact that money is important in sustaining a relationship, an over emphasis on money would most probably lead to true love being eroded in the process and money would then be the first priority. However, I disagree with you on your point that money and love play 50% each in a relationship. I feel that love should stand a higher percentage. I do believe that this boils down to what we think the definition of relationship is. In my perspective, a true relationship is one formed by love. Even though money is needed to sustain a relationship, if love is not present, there would certainly be no true relationship involved, rather, there will be a relationship between two businessmen.
ReplyDeleteWow Rixin, seems like you really thought long and hard for this post! It was great that you gave examples, for example the Chinese scientist's scenario. I'm sold on this post!
ReplyDeleteRixin, I love the way you link back how money plays a role in maintaining relationship into practical society. I agree with you. But as you mentioned that true love and "transactional" element weighs equally, which do think its more important?
ReplyDelete